Predictably, Neville was left partnerless.

[adjunct]

Hullo, this is Neville Longbottom, I think I've done this right.
Erm, you can leave me a voiceletter. If you'd like.

Comments

[dilectio]

[ ow ]

You're not bothering me. I wouldn't have come in here if you were a bother. I was worried, you sounded- [ that's not the point. her voice is too quiet, like she's trying too hard to keep her temper under control. not that she really has one, but sometimes it flares, times like this. when she's not expecting it. ] If telling me about the future will help you feel better, then- you should, I suppose. I only came in here to make sure you were alright. I mean that.

[ her face is hot though, embarrassed and ashamed and a number of other emotions she's not used to feeling, wasn't expecting to right now, talking to Neville. which is why, even though she should stop, she kind of- sets off. still quiet, but her brow's furrowed up, jaw tight ]

Though, since we're on the subject, please let me know the next time someone tells you that you, and the person you love most, will be dead within two years time, because two different people that you've considered a best friends at some point in your life betrayed you. And that even though things seemed impossible for you and your friends, right before your death of course, everything you know falls apart after you're gone. Everything. When someone tells you that you're not around to see your son grow up, or to help him through the hell that came as the result of a blood prophecy, or to even fight in a war that you've been too close to from the start of it, please, let me know. Because then I would understand why you're looking at me like that right now.

[ oh godric she needs to shut up. she knows she's gone too far, it's obvious by how bright her eyes are, how she kind of isn't letting herself blink because she knows she'd get all- teary. but- ]

But since you must already know what that's like, going by your judgment here, you should go ahead and let me know. No harm done, right, since I won't be around to experience any of it anyway. Shame on me, being so selfish, when I took the easy way out of everything, taking a Killing Curse instead of living long enough to know what everyone is talking about of the future.

[adjunct]

[Neville looks quite like he'd just been slapped across the face.

He hadn't thought of that. Any of it, really. Not with Lily, and not with any of his other housemates (or Professor Dumbledore.) How hard it must be to come from the past and be unable to do anything to prepare for the future. It would probably drive him up a wall if a stranger walked in and told him that something terrible was going to happen a decade or two from now and ruin the lives of his friends and family, and that he couldn't do anything about it. Since coming here he's been so laser-focused on Snape, on how nobody is doing anything about Snape, that he'd let everything else get kicked right to the wayside.

Which is just-- well, he shouldn't be this much of a tosser. He isn't this much of a tosser, and he's letting a couple of Death Eaters turn him into one. That alone manages to make him feel even worse now than he had when Lily first walked in - and that's saying something.

In direct contrast to her relative restraint, Neville is blinking rapidly because there are definitely tears in his eyes. He's always been what one might charitably refer to as a bit emotional.]

I didn't say- I didn't mean-- [Well, he hadn't said but he had meant, which is the problem here. The war was all he lived and breathed and thought about for the past year, it was the only thing he'd ever done worth doing, and now he can't even talk about it. It's such a profoundly isolating feeling that he's lashing out at people who don't deserve it - he really doesn't want to be the kind of guy who does that. Miserably, ashamed, he ducks his head and fights back the urge to palm at his eyes.] I'm sorry.