Predictably, Neville was left partnerless.

[adjunct]

Hullo, this is Neville Longbottom, I think I've done this right.
Erm, you can leave me a voiceletter. If you'd like.

Comments

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[tonsofpun]

Oh. Crap. Nobody told you?

[There's a lot of shit nobody's told him, apparently, but she awkwardly tries to explain.]

He showed up, and I guess he was younger than Harry and the others remembered. Maybe your age, but...

[Ellie trails off. Everybody tends to flip their shit when she tells them this.]

Anyway. I didn't know who he was. And I ran into him in the middle of a battle. He was throwing curses everywhere, and he saw me and decided to show me what a Crucio felt like.

[Several rounds of it. To this day, Ellie is foggy on how many it was.]

... so I unloaded a clip of bullets into his face until he died.

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[adjunct]

[Neville goes quite quiet over that. It's a lot to process, but it is made slightly easier over the myriad of strange, tangled timelines he's already encountered here.

Like it's difficult picturing Dumbledore as anything but an old man, he can scarcely imagine Voldemort as ever having been his age, as ever having been anything but a snake-faced monster.

But regardless of age, he knows those tactics well. Neville, more than anyone else here, had been terrified of the Cruciatus Curse. He knew what it could do to a person, irreversibly, no matter how strong or solid or brave. He was also, he imagined, far more accustomed to it as a part of every day life than anyone else here either. He knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that coming out of it on the other side with your brain in-tact doesn't even remotely mean you haven't been changed by it.

When he talks again, there's no pity in his voice, just a sort of worn-out and bedraggled familiarity. Like he's talked to a hundred kids who have been shown the same thing.]

I'm sorry. No one should have to know what that curse feels like.

[And he has no idea what a clip or bullets are, but the last part he understands well enough. He nods, once, a bit grim and a bit satisfied.]

Good on you. I hope it hurt an awful lot.

private; video

[tonsofpun]

You too, huh?

[Nobody could have a reaction like that and not know. Ellie's heart feels heavy, thinking about what Snape said about his parents. Shit she's sure he never wanted anybody to know.]

He didn't exactly leave me alone after that. Or- the people I cared about either. That's when Harry and Hermione started helping me. ... and Draco, and Snape.

[She has to give credit where it's due. Somehow.]

He killed Tess. He's the reason Joel doesn't have one of his arms. So I'm- I'm with you guys. Fuck that guy. And everyone who's helping him.

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[adjunct]

[With a sudden flatness to his tone that belies the bitterness:]

Yeah. It was how they liked to do detentions, with that curse.

[It's not that he blames her for it, but he finds that it stings with a surprising bit of power, her credit given and the idea that Snape cared enough about her - this strange girl from a different world entirely, whom Harry had sworn up and down would have been a Gryffindor - to help her against Voldemort. To help her, when he never had done for the Hogwarts students: some younger than her, some older, some more capable of defending themselves and some far less.

But he doesn't blame her, because he knows what that's like, to have one's life touched by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Because nobody asks for that.]

They can be worse, sometimes. His followers.

[He might be a bit biased, about that fact.]

private; video

[tonsofpun]

... fuck. I'm sorry.

[No pity there, just incredible sympathy. She's only had it happen the once, but it was enough for her. And it seems like everyone from that world knows what it's like. For an unforgivable curse, it's plenty popular.]

Barty Crouch sure is enough of a shithead.

-look, I really... if you don't want to answer, don't, okay? But were you really stuck in a school filled with his followers? For a year?

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[adjunct]

He's dangerous.

[And he means that, emphatically. He thought he'd gotten braver, facing the Carrows and surviving, but Barty terrifies him. The knowledge of everything he did, of the fact that he spent a year teaching and Neville never even noticed - he brings everything rushing back with every strange text and cloying message.]

Even without Voldemort. Especially without him.

[He pauses: scrutinizes her. Snape has fooled so many people, he thinks. He fooled Dumbledore long enough to kill him. He fooled Harry's mum, and worst of all, he had Harry and Hermione fooled now. Whatever he's done to make them all think that the things he did to the students of Hogwarts were justifiable, Neville just wishes it would all come down around his ears in a horrible way.]

I was stuck in a school with Professor Snape and the two people he hired to torture us and try to turn us into Death Eaters too. Yes.

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[tonsofpun]

[Ellie goes quiet again, realizing with a start that he... doesn't believe. And hell, can she blame him? After what he's been through? After all of that, every day, knowing that he's been subjected to torture just for the sake of a cover?

It sounds more painful than believing the carefully constructed lies. All of Ellie's explanations, her stories of what's happened -- all her proof. Suddenly, none of it matters, and she feels sick to her stomach for ever thinking she could tell him and it would all be better.

Ellie grits her teeth, shakes her head, looks away. She can't even look him in the eyes.]

Okay.

There's no fucking way that I'm going to sit here and tell you to trust Snape. Not after what you've been through. If what happened to me, if what happened to Joel and Tess was even a little bit of the shit you saw, then nothing's ever going to make up for it.

So I'm not- I'm not gonna tell you what to feel.

[She knows that now. She's glad she saw it in time.]

You have every right to hate him, and to feel like this whole thing is crazy, because it is.

But I'll tell you what. I'm all for making sure that nobody else gets hurt, if I can help it. I'm all for making it really, really hard for Crouch to keep pulling his bullshit. So if you'll have me? I'm on your side.

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[adjunct]

[There's a long quiet. It's a little sad, really, how grateful he is for that tiny bit of kindness. I'm not going to tell you to trust Snape. It's more than Harry gave him, and he doesn't want to be mad at Harry - he doesn't - but he's seen Harry on the Network telling people that Snape had always been there for him. That all the things Snape did were worth it. He's gotten interrupted by Harry texting him, to stop him telling people the truth about what Snape did.

All he can see are the first years, and the choices he had to make without Harry there, while they were trying to hold out hope for his return: how much torture can an eleven-year-old endure before someone needed to intervene, and who they were worth possibly sacrificing for it? Could he live with himself if he gave up and stopped fighting back, if he let his friends and classmates do it too to spare themselves the pain, and could he even survive the year if he didn't?

Things Snape could have saved them from - saved him from - but didn't.

And Harry wants him to trust Snape.

But not Ellie. Neville manages a nod - at first distractedly, and then with a purpose.]

I. I would like that. And I really do want to learn how to use Growth. When it's- we're needed, I mean, I don't want to be useless. I want to be able to help.

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[tonsofpun]

Neville, if you're tough enough to go through all that and keep fighting, then you're just about the opposite of useless.

[She almost tries for a smile, but doesn't.]

Actually, I guarantee that it makes you a certified badass.

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[adjunct]

[Despite everything, this whole conversation, that still manages to make him go bright pink.]

Well-- [He ducks his head and shrugs.] I could use magic, then, couldn't I? Different magic, I mean. Stuff that I'd been trained with.

private; video

[tonsofpun]

Between you and me, I don't think magic had a whole lot to do with it.

[At least not about the badass part. And the blush makes her smile, mostly because she's glad to have told him something good after all this crazy bullshit.]

Now. When d'you wanna meet up?

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[adjunct]

Thursday or Friday after your classes? If you'd like.

[He will come armed with library books and quiet nerdy delight.]

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[tonsofpun]

Friday after classes.

I'm over in Odin, the paid housing place. It's a big building, but I'm in room 108.

Ignore our weird neighbors, and try not to knock on their door by accident, okay?

If anybody waves a gun in your face, tell them Ellie said you were cool. Don't try to pet the dog.

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[adjunct]

[Well this suddenly sounds terrifying. The video goes very wobbly as he dives for something to write the number down with, because he is infamously forgetful.]

I'm not certain what a gun is, but alright.

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[tonsofpun]

[It's less terrifying in practice, Neville. Ellie grins and waits for him, repeating parts of the information as needed.]

-you don't know what a gun is?

Holy shit. Do you guys not have them?

[Except Hermione and Harry and even Snape knew what they were. ... but Voldemort had been surprised by it. Maybe that was what saved her. Ellie shifts, and reaches down to take out her 9-mil, showing it on the screen.]

This one's mine. It's small, but it packs a pretty good punch if I'm close enough.

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[adjunct]

No, I don't think so. It's a weapon?

[All of them were brought up in Muggle (or at least half Muggle) houses, but Neville is a full-on clueless wizard and comes from several consecutive generations of them.]

That... punches people?

[He can't see a fist anywhere on it, Ellie!!]

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[tonsofpun]

[Ellie puffs out her cheeks while she tries not to laugh at him. No, no, stop Ellie, that's mean.]

It's... it's an expression. Here, look.

[With a jerk of her wrists, she ejects the clip, showing him the bullets loaded up into it, pulls one out to hold between her fingers.]

This is called a bullet. You load the clip of them into here, like this-

[She loads up the gun, keeping the safety on, and points out the trigger without touching it.]

Then you aim it, and pull here. The gun fires the bullet into whatever you're pointing at.

[Ellie's expression sobers.]

It's a muggle thing. And they're very dangerous, so if you find one, don't mess around with it.

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[adjunct]

But it's so small.

[Neville seems a tad in awe. He can hardly wrap his mind around the idea that something like this - the tiny bullets pinched between her fingers - killed Lord Voldemort, now that he can actually see it.

He nods, quickly.]

I'll leave it be, if I ever do.

private; video

[tonsofpun]

So's a wand.

[Yes, she's seen wands. She gives him a brief smile, though it's a very serious thing.]

Seriously, though, if anybody ever points one of these at you, get out of the way. Even if it doesn't catch you anywhere lethal, it hurts like a motherfucker.

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[adjunct]

[Neville opens his mouth to protest, but... she sorta has a point, doesn't she. Eventually he settles on shaking his head slightly.]

Makes me wish I could still do a shield charm here.

private; video

[tonsofpun]

That'd be awesome. The more you guys tell me about the magic, the more I feel like I missed out.

-but I can teach you how to make your own shield on the spot.

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[adjunct]

Really? How do you do that? I'd like to learn, definitely.

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[tonsofpun]

Whenever you come over, I'll show you. You might not get it right away, but if you practice as much as you can, you'll get better quickly.

It kind of comes in waves. Like every day, a few more things click.